The hedonist year 2012 has passed by. I haven’t been to the hairdresser for over 12 months now. The first half of 2012 it felt like turning into a (wholeheartedly welcomed) transitional year, personally and professionally. But in the second half, 2012 was a crazy madhouse. Energy, fun, children, creativity, hyperactivity, fireworks.
Time for reflection, anger, hope and despair.
The last day of the year brought dark sentiments, negative emotions caused by a random mix of feelings and frustrations upon socially being interlocked-locked out in parallel; the type of unfeelings that otherwise rarely still hit me nowadays. Sentiments that made me buy the remastered edition of Dog Man Star by Suede. It is a master piece, it was Suede’s second album, it broke away from the pagan optimism of their debut, it saw the split of the golden songwriting duo of Brett Anderson and Bernard Butler. It was released in 1994. In 1997 my wife and I danced to The 2 of Us on our wedding evening.
In the end the sentiments served as a reminder. A reminder not only of the sheer beauty of Dog Man Star, but of the fact that some things take time. Becoming what you didn’t know you wanted to be, but also growing one’s own personal culture and traditions in overcoming social shortages. Springs to my mind: the power of independent thinking and pride; the absence of parents and relatives; #(f)ff.
My mother died in 2005. My father died in 2009 (I think). I never miss them. I do miss ‘parents’, but I’ve come to realize that I already did back when they were still alive. My father is probably the most evil person I have ever known. He was a drunk psycho-terrorist that consciously tried to destroy us. The day he died a dark cloud dissolved. It was a sign to invest even more in the choice that had already payed off, the deliberate choice for happiness. Further building on total happiness with my lovely wife and our fantastic children. And we share it with a wider world, with YOU. Hence this blog note. It helps us making life a feast, every day.
2012 has been good, and life keeps getting better, at a personal and at a professional level (a distinction, by the way, I only make for the comfort of the reader).
Message written against the background of Religion (II) by Public Image Ltd and the new soundscapes of The Seer by Swans:
I will keep living the illusion of Ulysses by the sea. Maybe I’ll see you there. Maybe elsewhere, maybe not.
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